Week 2 – Word Of The Week: Adjust
April 2, 2019 by Chaffee-Thanh Nguyen
Filed under Coaching, Personal Development
I once read that a when a rocket ship heads for the moon, it’s only on course 1% of the time. That means that 99% of the time, the rocket is going in the wrong direction!
Kinda feels that way sometimes in life doesn’t it? Like you’re heading the wrong way. Taking one step forward and two steps back. Stuck in the quagmire. Stuck in the…. Pain.
I mean seriously, if rocket scientists cannot get it right, how can normal people expect to get it right?
Fortunately, you don’t have to get it right all the time. You just have to do what the rocket scientists do 99% of the time… adjust.
Making small adjustments when working towards something is critical. The key of course is knowing what you’re adjusting to.
Back in the day… o.k. way back in the day, sailors didn’t have fancy equipment and GPS signals. They didn’t have gas powered or steam powered motors. All they had were sails and oars. They always had one constant though… something that told them what direction they were going, that pointed the way to their destination be it home or some foreign land. What was that one thing? Why, the North Star of course.
What’s your North Star? What are you shooting for? Where are you going?
Take note of what you’re doing on a regular basis and ask yourself, am I getting closer or further away from my goal… my North Star? And if you’re getting further away or if what you’re doing is taking you down the wrong path, can you adjust?
Well the real answer is are you willing to adjust?
Most people can, sometimes though they aren’t willing?
Why or why not?
Because the consequences of adjusting and not doing what you’re currently doing may be too great (or you may think it is too great) for you to make that adjustment.
For example, as a Success Coach, I am constantly working with people who want are starting or growing a business. Many of those people are still in transition from a Corporate job i.e. they still have a full time job while working to start a business on the side or after work. One of the biggest complaints I hear is that they work so much that they don’t have the time to put into their business.
Is that really the truth though? Or is that just a decision they’ve made?
Once I was working with a gentleman who’s business suffered greatly because he just wasn’t putting in the time and therefore effort to grow it. He was a middle manager at an IT company and would end up working 12 hour days from 7 am until 7 pm. When he got home, he would be tired or drained and didn’t have the energy to work on his business.
So I asked him a series of questions:
- Does everyone else in your office work 12 hour days? Answer: No.
- How much do they work and how long do they stay? Answer: Most people 40 – 50 hours and leave around 5 pm. Some people stay later than others.
- Are you paid to work a 12 hour day? Answer: I’m salaried, so I just need to get the job done.
- Would you get fired if you left your office after say, 10 hours instead of 12 hours? Answer: Probably not.
- Then why couldn’t you leave after working 9 – 10 hours a day and spend 2 – 3 hours on your business? Answer: Because I have work I need to get done.
- What happens to the work that you don’t finish your after a 12 hour day? Answer: It stays there until the next day.
- Would the work still be there if you left after 9 – 10 hours? Answer: Yes.
- Have you ever left work early before? Answer: Oh yes. I’m a Deacon at my Church and if someone needed me for something, I’d leave right away.
- I see. I see. And were you ever reprimanded for leaving early for Church? Answer: Well, um,
- So why is it o.k. to leave early for Church and not for your business? You know, the thing that you want to grow so you can leave your job and spend more time with your family and with your Church? Answer: Well, I don’t know. I never really thought about it that way
- So would you now agree that your priorities are:
- Church
- Your Job
- Your Business
Answer: Yes
- So what would happen if we changed your priorities to Church, Your Business, and then Your Job? Answer: I don’t know.
- If you showed up to work every day and did the best that you could while you were there for a good 8 – 9 hours a day (you know, what you’re currently getting compensated for), and then you left to go focus on your business for 2 – 3 hours a day, would you stay within your integrity (doing what you promised at work) and be still able to grow your business? Answer: Yes. I think so.
- If you were able to grow your business regularly by spending the extra time and effort you gain by leaving work on time, would that make a difference in your business and life? Answer: Yeah. It would.
- So are you ready and willing to leave work earlier and focus more on your business? Answer: I’m not sure…
And of course, the last answer is why many people fail.
See, here was a guy who had every reason to focus on leaving work a tad bit earlier and focus on building a business that would support him and his family and yet he still hesitated to make the adjustments necessary to get what he wanted. And he hesitated because of FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of leaving his comfort zone. Fear of facing the pain of change that I discussed in my last post.
He didn’t enjoy working 60 plus hour weeks.
He didn’t enjoy going to work early and coming home late.
He didn’t enjoy not having enough time with his family.
He didn’t enjoy being a work-a-holic.
He started a business so that he could make extra money and get out of working.
The challenge was that business is new and scary. There are no “false” safety nets. There are no “guaranteed” weekly paychecks. There are however, unknowns in dealing with customers, with management, inventory, sales, and more.
He could leave work to go to Church in a heartbeat because there he was large and in charge! He was confident! He knew what he was doing and how he could help. With his business, that was a complete unknown to him.
And the biggest unknown? The biggest unknown was did he have the confidence, will power, motivation, inspiration, perseverance, and determination to succeed in his business. Was he willing to “burn the boats” and commit to making his business a success or was he just too comfortable at his day job? Too comfortable inside his warm, safe, bubble? Too comfortable doing the known and just surviving.
People are motivated by two things.
- The avoidance of pain
- The attraction of pleasure
“The secret of success if learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” – Tony Robbins
In the case of the gentleman I was working with, his pain wasn’t great enough for him to attract more pleasure. Sure it was getting there and he just wasn’t there yet. Unfortunately, a lot of people are in this situation. They’re unhappy where they’re at yet they’re not in pain enough to adjust what they’re doing to move forward… move towards pleasure and away from the pain.
Is your pain enough for you to start making adjustments to your life?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- How is my current behavior affecting my life?
- How are my current actions holding me back?
- What are my current actions costing me physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, and/or emotionally?
- What am I missing out on as a result of my current actions and habits?
- How are my actions and behaviors affecting other people?
- How is my state of mind?
- If I continue down this path, what will it cost me?
- If I continue down this path, will I have regrets?
- If I continue down this path, will I ever be happy?
- If I continue down this path, will I ever get what I want?
What are your answers? Are you ready to start making adjustments and changes to your life?
Almost 2 weeks ago, I decided to start making adjustments in my life. I decided to go down a path of pain in order to overcome pain. Fight pain with pain. My current path was costing me my physical health and I CHOSE to make a change. I CHOSE to overcome. I CHOSE to do things differently.
Last week I was in almost total and complete pain – as you may have read in my previous post. This week, the pain is still there. It hasn’t subsided much and much to my chagrin, some areas of my body it’s gotten even worse.
I played a bit too much basketball earlier this week and now my knee hurts. Even though I was taking it easy, I took it easy for too long, and that adds up. So now I need to adjust my adjustments to my life. Next week, I’m not playing basketball. I’m going to take a break.
Remember, I’m not on any plan, diet, or process. The only thing I’ve promised myself is to eat less and move more. Apparently, I moved too much and so now I have to adjust and move less. I will keep adjusting until I find that happy medium.
Moving less for now is one adjustment. That’s not the only one though. I have to adjust a second thing.
I’m not just having to move less, I have to move slower.
When everything you do causes you some kind of pain, you have to move slower. So I have to adjust the time it takes me to do things and get places.
While time heals all wounds, time takes well… time.
Getting ready in the morning takes a bit more time. In fact, anything that requires movement takes more time, so I must plan accordingly.
This is an adjustment to my entire schedule…. At least until my body adjusts to the pain and additional movement. Again, finding that happy medium between the time it takes to do things and my speed of movement. Walking anywhere takes more time. Ah… the joys of pain.
And to complete the trifecta, I have one more major adjustment to make to my overall plan of change and health.
Eating less and moving more leaves me hungry. Eating more to make up for the hunger is not an adjustment I’m planning on making. Instead, I’m choosing to drink more. Water that is. Not alcohol. I know, some of you were thinking that. While drinking alcohol may help dull my moving more pain, it’s not in alignment with the lifestyle changes I want to make. So nice try.
Back to the water thing. Water helps fill the belly. So drinking more before, during, and after eating helps fill the belly and makes me feel less hungry. Feeling less hungry allows me to eat less.
Remember the rocket scientists? Small adjustments on a consistent basis. In order for me to succeed, I have to pay attention to my body and make small adjustments. In order for you to succeed, you have to do the same thing ever while moving towards your goals.
So this week’s word is adjust.
Adjust your schedule.
Adjust your behaviors.
Adjust your thinking.
Adjust your life.
Adjust your adjustments.
Keep on adjusting until you reach your goal. Small, consistent adjustments.
You can do it. One step at a time. One adjustment at a time. Little by little.
And one final note, hopefully my journey can help you with yours. I’ll continue to write and post as I progress and share any results. What are my results by the way? Well it would help if I told you where I started from. So here we go with full disclosure:
I’m 5 feet 10 inches. When I started almost 2 weeks ago, my starting weight was 232 pounds.
That makes my BMI or Body Mass Index 33.3
In case you didn’t know, here are the BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
I’m greater. I mean I’m a BMI of 30 or greater meaning I fit into that Obesity category.
At the beginning of this week, I weighed in at 228.
Yeah, that’s 4 pounds down. Progress. A bit more than I expected and progress.
What did I do? What changes did I make?
On Day One I played an hour of open rec basketball with a bunch of old out of shape guys like myself. In fact, it’s a Meetup group that I help run. It’s called “Northwest Co-Ed Recreational ‘Only Bad Players’ Basketball”. Think I’m kidding? You can find it here on Meetup:
https://www.meetup.com/Northwest-CoEd-Rec-Basketball
There are 48 members of which only about 6 – 8 show up regularly. I helped start this 6 months ago when I played my first game in about 20 years and then got injured for 6 months. Anyway, on Day One, I played about an hour. For the rest of the week, I went to the gym twice for between 20 – 30 minutes where I did light weights for 5 – 10 minutes, 10 minutes of light jogging / walking (not really in shape to run yet), and another 5 – 10 minutes of light weights. Seriously, I’m not pushing things too much cause I’m so out of shape it’s ridiculous.
So One hour of open rec basketball and Two workout sessions of 20 – 30 minutes. And of course, eating less.
This is probably where most of my results came from.
The key factor here was that I ate less more frequently. So yes, I did eat less overall and more importantly, I ate less per sitting. And instead of just 3 large meals, I would venture to guess I ate between 4 – 5 times a day. Just a lot less.
This week, I played about 2 hours of open rec basketball. That was probably about 30 minutes too much as my knee is now hurting and I am choosing to take a week off. I’m wearing my knee brace daily as well to allow myself to continue moving while recovering. In addition, I’m adding the drinking more water thing. So we’ll see how it goes. I’m expecting to lose another 2 pounds and again, that would just be a bonus. A bonus of course earned through pain. My whole body is still sore as a purple bruise (I was going to say pimple and well a bruise usually hurts more).
Remember, my real goal here is just a permanent change in lifestyle – eating less and moving more. Losing weight is a healthy by product of that change along with many other health benefits.
If you’re looking for to accomplish something, remember, make it a part of you, not just something you do. Even if it’s just something you want to do or achieve short term like run a marathon or complete a 5k race, prepare for it as part of your lifestyle, not just something you’re doing. Make it you. Embrace it. Become it. Feel it. Hear it. See it. And most importantly, achieve it.
Here’s t
Celebrate Life!
Chaffee-Thanh Nguyen