Week 1 – Word of the Week: PAIN

As in I am in Pain!  I hurt.  An all-reaching, all-encompassing pain.  And I mean All.

As the saying goes, no pain, no gain.  Of course, I prefer no pain, no pain.

And well, there’s pain.  And lots of it.

My legs hurt.  In my calves, my thighs, my ankles, my knees (they pop every time I stand up from a sitting position)… and don’t forget about my hips.  My upper body hurts… my arms (forearms, biceps, tricepts and on up to my shoulders), my chest, my back.  Not my stomach though.  At least not yet.

Pain.

I hurt. 

And the sad part… it’s all my fault.  I feel like a big, soft marshmallow that someone beat up on regularly.  Especially my not so sore stomach – well, at least the marshmallow part, not the beat up part.  Not there.  Not yet.

So what did I do?

Well before I get to that, let me go back in time several years.  You see, back in the day, I was a pretty good athlete.  In high school, I was a 3 Letterman Athlete – and would have been more if I had the time and sports didn’t overlap.  I played soccer, wrestled, and was on the Track team.  From my Sophomore through Senior years, I was a Cheerleader – yes, Cheerleader (we placed 16^th in the country for Co-Ed Competitive Cheer) and was on the Track team.  Kinda hard to see me back in the first photo, so I included a team shot in the second.

In addition, I was a pretty decent Martial Artist having taken Tae Kwon Do since the 6^th grade and being an advanced belt.  (See my Karate Kid moment below in one of the pictures. That was me at a big tournament).

Of course, none of it came easy.  Most of it came with a lot of… you guessed it… pain.  And hey, I was in incredible shape.  I was benching  over 225 and could leg press over 400 pounds.  I ran long distance in Track and could easily run several miles.  Of course all that came through pain.  Pain of sore muscles; pain of sprained ankles; pain of pulled muscles; pain of a broken back and two twisted vertebrae; pain of sore joints, bumps, bruises;  lots and lots of pain.  And through that, I grew stronger.

This carried on into College where I was on the University Cheerleading team and we placed 6^th in the Nation and made it onto ESPN (my claim to fame).  Between practices, weight rooms, football and basketball games, we worked out over 30 hours every week to get there.  Of course, working out for 30 hours a week means you’re living with it… pain that is.  Not to mention that I ripped my shoulder to shreds throw up girls while partner stunting.  More pain.

Over the summers, in addition to continuing Karate, I was a Cheerleading Camp Couselor with the National Cheerleading Association or NCA.  Now this was pretty intense.  Camp was 3 full days of physical activity from 6 am in the morning until 9 pm at night.  And we typically did 1 – 2 camps per week.  Back to back camps were a killer!!

I got in excellent shape though.  At one point in time, my body fat was measured to be only 4%.  That’s right.  4%.  I was a lean, mean, muscle machine.   I remember how much pain it took me to get there though.  Endless hours of stances, motions, stunting, backflips, back handsprings, and jumps (toe-touches, pikes, around-the-world, hurdlers, and combo jumps into back-tucks).  After a while, you live with the pain as it’s just a dull thud throughout your body.  Well that an all the ACE bandages, knee, ankle, back, wrist, elbow, and shoulder braces.  And let’s not forget the ice.  Bags and bags of ice.

Did you know that when you first put on a bag of ice on your raw skin that it burns?  Oh boy does it burn.  Then it becomes numb.  And then the pain goes away for a bit.  And oh boy, does it burn at first.

Pain to fight the pain.

From High School to College, I added over 30 pounds.  Of course this was mostly muscle.  At least it was until I had to get serious about Engineering classes and dropped Cheerleading.  Actually, I had a choice, Cheerleading or work.  Since I had to pay for college, I chose work.  Didn’t have enough bandwith for Engineering, Work, and Cheerleading.  Something had to go (Cheerleading) and along with it, some muscle mass.  Without realizing it, this was the beginning of the end.

After college, I ran in 5k races around the community in order to stay in shape. 
I was averaging a little over 8 minute miles.  Not bad.

I even joined a gym – Lifetime fitness and took Yoga lessons.  I love Yoga.  Done properly, it’s a great workout in addition to relaxation and mediation.  Plus I was still pretty flexible from Karate (I was able to do the splits in all 3 directions – left, right, and center).  I wasn’t close to my former 30 – 40 hour per week working out maniac though.

Everything was going along swimmingly until I injured myself.  I got rear-ended and threw my back out – the same back that I broke back in High School.  The only difference is that a High Schooler’s body heals much faster than a mid-20 something’s body that worked in Engineering/IT for 10 plus hours a day.  Eventually, I did heal up and start working out again.  That Engineering/IT job allowed me to add another 20 plus pounds though – this time, it wasn’t muscle mass.

And then I started a business!!

And if anyone reading this has ever started a business, you know that it can be ALL consuming – kinda like the pain.  Priorities change, working out took a back seat to making money.  Still, I worked out periodically here or there – never to the same degree as back in high school, college, or even after.   Excuses excuses and I added even more weight.

Through it all, I was relatively active, so I didn’t feel it too much.  My body was changing though.  I didn’t realize it at first only muscle mass was slowly changing and converting into fat.  That’s what happens when you don’t use your muscles regularly.  So while my weight didn’t change much (muscle mass weighs more than fat), I was getting weaker.  I could no longer bench press as much or leg press as much.  I could no longer run as fast or as long.  And of course, the belly was expanding.

Wardrobe change.  Bonus right?  New clothes?  It would have been great if my clothes got smaller.  Unfortunately, it just got bigger.

Fast forward a few years and yeah!!!!  I’m a dad!!!

 

 

Well hey, I’m a dad who runs my own business.  Forget about working out now.  Welcome… Dad Bod!  Yes.  I had it.  Seriously, I was way too busy to be working out!  So I didn’t.  More excuses.  Hey, life happens, I get it.  You still get to decide your own priorities.

 

 

 

Of course, Time waits for no one. 

Fast forward and now I’m turning the BIG Four-Oh!  OMG!!!  I’m over the hill!  Time to start working out and getting into shape.  So welcome Insanity… which is literally insane.

If you’re not familiar with it, Insanity is a program by Beachbody where you have INTENSE 40 – 60 minute DAILY workouts without using weights.  It’s a 60 Day program.  Of course I don’t follow the nutrition plan.  I just do the workouts.  Some logic in my head said that I just want to build up my cardio again.  Read on to find out how that went.

Day 1 I almost died… 3 times.  Seriously.

I almost threw up and got light headed and almost passed out 3 times.  My wife called me… Insane.  And yes… I over-did it.  I literally had no idea how difficult it would be, so I pushed myself too hard.  I recorded it too.  It’s somewhere in my archives. Proof of my Insanity!

Fast forward 6 weeks and I’m done.  I didn’t make the full 8 weeks.  Why?  Because my body was beat up.  My knees couldn’t take it.  My elbows and wrists were too sore.  The workouts were so crazy that I pushed myself too hard and had to stop.  I was so close too.  I was in a lot better shape – cardiovascular wise than I was when I started though.  That came through 6 weeks of pain.  Each week got worse because I never let myself really heal.  I just kept pushing through the pain.  In the end, I didn’t have enough push.  Just a lot of pain.

Healing takes time when you’re older though.  Time to get through the pain.   And as the saying goes, “Time heals all wounds.”  And so after I while – a long while, I healed up.  Time to work out again right?

Unfortunately, mentally, starting to work out again was difficult – so I didn’t.  I put it off.  Like most people, once you get going and get over the hurdle – the initial pain – then you can keep the momentum going.  It’s that hurdle, that pain, that prevents people from starting though.  I was no different.  I didn’t start right away.  I put it off… put it off in order to avoid the… pain.

Life happens and guess what?  I’m a dad again!

Well, I never stopped being one.  Magic happened for my family a second time though and we were blessed with another baby boy!  There goes working out again.  Who has time to work out when you’re running your own business and have two kids to raise?  Fa-get-about-it!!  Of course, the body isn’t so forgiving.  Tack on a few more pounds and yes… another wardrobe change.

Now the change happens.

My ever present friend… pain.

Of course pain doesn’t change.

What changed was the cause of pain.

Previously pain came through injury or through exercise.  Most people know that when you work out, your muscles actually tear and break down only to regrow bigger and stronger.  That’s where the pain comes from – healing.  Well… that’s where it used to come from – before the change.

Now I started experiencing pain more and more, not from healing.  No.  This pain came from something else.  This pain came from… being overweight and out of shape!  And it’s not a fun place to be, feel, live.  Notice that I didn’t mention being old though.  And while age does affect recovery time, you can be in shape and on weight at any age if you put in the effort.  Of course, I stopped doing that back in college after I dropped Cheerleading.  Or was it during the endless hours of IT work in the corporate world?

Or was it when I got injured or started my own business or became a dad?  Who knows.  Somewhere along the way, I stopped.

Now, I weigh more than I ever have before.  My clothes are the biggest I’ve ever had.  And my constant companion – pain – was no longer a healing pain.  It’s just pain.  A hurtful pain.

After a while, the joints hurt; it’s more difficult to get up from a sitting position; it’s more comfortable to stay in bed; it’s easier to move less – which of course doesn’t help; the groans, the complaints, the excuses – the all come easier.

Which leads me to now.

Like many people, I have a choice.

I can choose to live with the pain; I can allow the pain to control my life; I can TRY to ignore the pain; I let the pain continue to grow and potentially cause permanent damage further down the road.  If I let it, pain can become all consuming.  It can prevent me from doing the things I know I should be doing.  It can stop me from growing, developing, performing.  Pain causes people to do things they normally wouldn’t do.  Pain makes people defensive.  Pain can be a force for evil, hurt, anger, fear.

Or I can choose to take my life back.  I can choose to control my destiny and work to alleviate the pain.  I can accept the pain and work to effect another CHANGE.  A change back to a healing pain, not a damaging one.  I can put myself through pain to overcome pain.

So guess what I’ve chosen.

Of course, I’ve chosen pain.  Pain to fight pain with more pain.

And today, I’m in pain.

I’m in pain because this week, I started eating less and moving more.  I am NOT on any kind of diet plan.  I am NOT on any kind of official program.  I am NOT working with anyone.  I’m just eating less and moving more.  And more importantly, I’m consciously embracing a new way of life.

You see, that’s key… embracing a new way of life. 

Programs come and go.  MOST diets don’t last because people are so focused on implementing A plan that they don’t make it a part of themselves.  They follow the plan and then they don’t.  Most people don’t work out on a continual basis because their focus is not prioritizing working out.  Their priority is to lose a few pounds.  And when they do, they stop working out.  And then they gain the weight again.  That’s why so many people fail at their New Year’s resolutions after 30 days.  It’s not a part of them.  It’s not who they are – it’s just something they’re doing.  And when they stop doing it, they revert back to the norm.

You want change, real change… you have to change the norm.  You have to BECOME something different – not just do something different. 

For me to overcome the damaging pain and fatigue, I must welcome and embrace the healing pain.  And this happens by moving more.  This happens by making moving more a part of my life, a priority, a habit – not just something to do.  Like everything, if you want to succeed at something, it must become a part of you.  It must be part of your core.  It must be you, not just something you do.

“Pain and death are a part of life.  To reject them is to reject life itself.”  — Havelock Ellis

This is important because if it’s just something you do, then the moment that something more appealing comes along, then you’ll do something else.  If it’s a part of you, then you’ll do it regardless – because that’s who you are, that’s what you are, that’s what you do – regardless of what else comes along.

So this week, I’ve started embracing my long time companion again – pain.  I’ve stopped working to avoid it.  I’ve stopped putting it off.  I’ve stopped making excuses.  And so I hurt.

I started the week playing a game or two of recreational basketball.  Something I’ve only done once in the past almost 20 years.  That one time was about 6 months ago when I was in so much pain afterwards I didn’t play again until this week.  I mean seriously, I literally couldn’t walk for almost 3 days after that game about 6 months ago.  Then I had to wear knee braces for 3 months after that.  I’ve finally recovered from it.  And now, I’m back at it.  The difference is this time, I came prepared.  I didn’t push myself as hard.  I wore my knee braces – and I still hurt.  The difference is this time, I knew I would hurt and I could control the amount of hurt I was putting myself in.

Two days after that game, my legs were still sore from the game.  My knees are still popping.  It’s bearable though.  The PAIN is bearable – barely.  I know from past experience though that working WITH the pain and listening to it is important.  It allows me to push myself without damaging myself.  To that end, I joined the local community center fitness center and worked out for a measly 20 minutes.  That’s 20 minutes more than I’ve done in years though.  And two days after that, my whole body hurts.  Legs from basketball still and now upper body from my 20 minute workout.  Simple, easy, workouts where I’m not pushing myself to the brink of fatigue.  Although I am pushing myself.  I’m pushing myself to the point of pain where I can heal from it and grow stronger.  Not one where I’m damaging myself.

I haven’t done sit-ups or crunches though, so the belly is o.k. – for now.  The stomach workout will be coming soon though.

The Dad Bod needs to go.  The damaging pain needs to go.  The healing pain needs to come back.  The healing pain needs to be embraced.

For most people, embracing pain in order to CHANGE is scary. 

CHANGE often requires a certain amount of pain, fear (of the unknown), and anxiety.  And managed properly, the pain is worth it.  The pain can be your friend.  The pain can be your companion.  Remember, you would never understand joy, happiness, and success without the opposite which is pain, fear, and failure.  You must experience one to have the other.

And please understand that I’m not talking about Chronic pain that some people might experience with something like Multiple Sclerosis or Fibromyalgia.  While these are diseases that can severely affect some people’s lives, learning to accept the pain associated with these diseases and then understanding how to cope and manage the pain can still allow someone to live a very full and happy life.

So this week’s word is Pain.

What causes you pain and why?

How are you going to overcome your pain?

How are you going to effect a change in your life?

How are you going to embrace your pa

in in order to overcome your pain?

Learn to understand it, feel it, manage it, and accept it, and you’ll be amazed at what you can do to overcome it.

Remember, no pain, no gain.  The pain you feel today will be strength you feel tomorrow.  Here’s to your healing pain.

Celebrate Life!

Chaffee-Thanh Nguyen