What’s Holding You Back?

I was just checking out Yahoo Financial cause I regularly peruse financial info for my investments and ran across FoxOnStocks.com. This a website started by at 16 year old Actress and get this… day trader. She made 338 trades on 2012 with a 30.4% return in her portfolio. Did I mention that she’s 16?  You can check out her website at http://www.FoxOnStocks.com

Here’s what she has to say… @FoxonStocks despite any age difference, the biggest fear is of the unknown. Thats what stops a lot of people from investing.

I would have to say that fear of the unknown stops a lot of business owners as well. Has fear ever stopped you from doing something?

Wikipedia says, “Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes entities to quickly pull away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.”

Did you catch that? It says fear is an emotion. An emotion induced by a PERCEIVED threat. I’ve learned that FEAR can also be defined as False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear of the unknown is a very powerful emotion which freezes people in their tracks. What people need to realize though is that fear doesn’t mean stop. When you experience fear, it’s your natural survival mechanism that says, “Slow down and PAY ATTENTION!” It doesn’t say, “STOP and don’t do anything!” Yet that’s what most people do. They freeze up. They don’t do anything. They go back to their “comfort zone”. Unfortunately, if you’re always in your comfort zone, you’re never experiencing anything new.

Les Brown says, “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

So what’s someone to do? How do you overcome fear?

If you listen to some people out there (and I’ve been guilty of this myself), they’ll tell you that you should face the fear head first and do whatever scares you. Jim Morrison said it best when he said, “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

I once saw a talk show where the host had two ladies on his show that were afraid of balloons. He thought he could help them get over their fear of balloons by bringing a bunch of them on stage. And then he preceded to pop them! Guess what happened? The two ladies got over their fear of balloons right? WRONG. They freaked out and I think the host made it worse for them!

Here’s the thing, when you’re afraid of something, there’s only a small percentage of individuals who can just face their fears and attack things head first. Usually something drastic has to happen for someone to be able to attack things head first and overcome their fear. And when someone’s in their comfort zone, something drastic doesn’t happen that often.

It’s even more difficult the greater the fear. Like the ladies on the show, sometimes a fear brings images of horror to people. It makes their knees weak and it upsets their stomachs. It makes them shiver and get cold sweats. And yes, they literally freeze – mentally and physically.

Now it may not be that bad for you and if it is, how are you able to overcome your fears, get unstuck, move forward? And is it even possible?

Well the answer is yes, it is possible. Here’s what you have to realize… that most fears are learned… meaning that something happened in your life to make you experience the fear you’re feeling. Babies are not born with fears of balloons. In fact, most kids are fearless (I know my 4 year old son is fearless! He makes me fearful every time he jumps off of things or climbs up things!). If everyone was as fearless as a kid, we’d get a lot more things done. And the good news is that if a fear is learned, it can be unlearned.

As with most things, the first step to overcoming a fear is acknowledging that you have the fear. Also, accept and realize that some fears you’re experiencing may never go away. You can learn to manage your fears though and continue to move forward. So after you acknowledge you have the fear, you can start taking small actions to overcome those fears. Start by realizing that you do have a choice. You have the choice to continue being afraid or work to overcome your fear. When you choose to overcome that fear, then you move on to the next step.

Now, if you have a big fear of balloons, I don’t think you should surround yourself with balloons and then pop a bunch of them to “shock” yourself over that fear. Instead, start with understanding your feelings when you think about balloons. How do they make you feel. What does that feel like. Learn to recognize those feeling. In addition, visualize yourself in your “safe zone”. What makes you safe? How does that feel? And whenever you feel the feelings of fear regarding the balloons, visualize yourself in your safe zone. So basically, the first step to overcoming the fear is mental.

Reality is perception. Or what you perceive to be true is true to you. If you think that someone can travel across the world in a multi-ton metal tube, then it’s true for you. Do you think they would have believed that back in the 1500’s? They’d call you crazy. Yet it’s reality today. Someone thought it could happen and then went and made it happen. If you believe yourself to be forever fearful of something, then it’s true for you. If you believe you can overcome your fear, then yes, you can. If you believe you can’t overcome your fear, then you are correct, you can’t. So if you want to overcome your fears, start by believing that you can. Acknowledge the fear, feel the fear, choose to overcome the fear, and then take the next step you need to in order to overcome those fears. Move at your own pace and keep moving foward.

Let me just close by saying that the only way to completely overcome a fear is to truly feel the fear and do it anyway. Susan Jeffers actually wrote an entire book called Feel The Fear And Do It A

nyway. Once you feel the fear and make the conscious decision to move forward (at your own pace of course), then you’ll be on the way to overcoming that fear.

If a 16 year old girl can create two streams of income by acting and trading (with her own funds), then what’s holding you back?

Decide to succeed and you will!
Celebrate Life!